No more pencils, no more books, which leaves more time to focus on ladies with good looks. Summer blockbusters are packed with as many gorgeous young actresses as a Trader Joe’s is packed with tofu products, so we’ve got some real work to do. You probably already saw Zoe Saldana in the newest, kickass rendition of Star Trek, but the term is just beginning. Stay at the head of your classmates by boning up on your hot movie chick knowledge. That may just be one of the dirtier puns we’ve tried to use on Chickipedia. Oh well, let’s start studying.
I’ll do my very best not to make any Army of Darkness/Evil Dead references whilst talking about the beautiful and talented Ms. Lohman–but it’s going to be tough. She’s the star of the legendary Sam Raimi’s much lauded return to the macabre, over-the-top, B-level horror flick genre that he changed forever with a chin and some of the best, bloodiest dark humor in the last few decades. Alison plays a real estate agent who incurs a hex of the hell-worthiest kind after foreclosing on a creepy old lady’s home. Why do the hot real estate agents always have to be tortured by evil minions? I’d probably pay twelve bucks to see the old lady from Thinner curse Madoff so that he eventually just withered away. That’s box office gold right there; then again, so is watching the lovely Ms. Lohman for any extended period of time. Groovy.
Lacey came from humble, cutesy beginnings on the show Party of Five back in the 90s, but she’s been causing deviant thoughts in the minds of men ever since she played the sexiest and most unattainable girl in school in the hilarious Not Another Teen Movie, alongside other hotties Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressly, and Mia Kirshner. She’ll be haunting the dreams of any boyfriend who gets dragged to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, the new chick flick she’s starring in this summer. Maybe the she could haunt Alison Lohman instead of that creepy witch from Drag Me to Hell. They could have a massive paranormal fight between heaven and hell…in bikinis.
Somebody call Guinness; we finally found her. This woman has the coolest name in the world. Moon Bloodgood: It sounds like a cross between a superwoman, a Bond girl, and an all-powerful female chieftain that ruled the Americas in ancient times. In essence, one of the most dangerous adn alluring women of all time. Actually, Ms. Bloodgood is a very down-to-earth and beautiful Dutch-Irish-Korean woman and star in the new Terminator: Salvation film. Again, my mind immediately contemplates a girl-on-girl Terminator throwdown between Bloodgood and Kristanna Loken. Would there be any better way to say hasta la vista to the franchise?
Essence is appearing in this summer’s newest meta-parody movie Dance Flick, brought us by the irrepressible Wayans Brothers. She’s no newcomer to shaking her money maker onscreen, however; A trained dancer, she appeared in Petey Pablo’s music video for his song "Freak-A-Leek". She’s also been featured in the Cosby Show, and Saved By The Bell: The College Years.
Having a fiance that your family deems too sexy for you to marry is a nice problem to have. In Easy Virtue, Chickipedia favorite Jessica plays a glamorous American newlywed in England. Meeting the family, she understandably blows the entrenched British stuffiness of her in-law’s out of their 18th century windows. None of this is new to Jessica – her delicious career has been based on scandals such as posing nude at seventeen while still in an exclusive contract with ABC’s Seventh Heaven. And she just happens to be one of the biggest stars in Hollywood today. Coincidence? Most men probably won’t care too much once they get to see her turn in another racy performance as a stripper in Powder Blue.
Suddenly remembering how gorgeous Amy Adams is can be the highlight of anyone’s day. She narrowly avoided marrying Leo in Catch Me If You Can, and held her own with Julia Roberts in Charlie Wilson’s War. This summer, she’ll be in the sequel to Night At The Museum. And, like the Smithsonian, people from around the world will line up to see Ms. Adams put her gorgeous smile and acting on display amongst all those other wondrous and pretty things in the museum.
Anyone who’s spent enough nights out knows that hot girls move in packs. It’s no surprise then when Naomi Watts and Rachel Wiesz have nights on the town, Anna is never far behind. She gained massive exposure in Europe when she played Beth Jordache in the soap opera Brookside, where gave a lesbian kiss onscreen that is still one of the most talked-about moments in British soap history. Anna will be playing the hot, far-less-slapstick companion of Will Ferrell in Land of the Lost.