Halloween – it’s a celebration of the harvest. And by that, of course, we mean a celebration of chicks dressing up unnecessarily tarty and going wild in a demonically delightful way. Let’s not kid ourselves, if ever there was a night for you to go out when the chances of you hooking up with a girl dressed as a sexy fill-in-the-blank are never higher unless you’re a casting agent of negotiable affections.

There’s plenty of ways for girls to glam it up, but there are a few fan favorites that have stood the test of time as tantamount teases. This is our definitive list of Halloween hottie outfits – so send it to your special lady friends and then put your party pants on.

Naughty and Nice

Nothing says lady in the street and a freak in the sheets like the half angel half devil costume. This is the one who you can take home to mom, but then with whom you barely escape without her making inappropriate gestures, remarks, or grabbing your bag of candy underneath the table.

Buy her this drink: Black and Tan


French Maid

Everybody likes to be taken care of – pampered – if only a little. Of, course, on Halloween, we’d like to be taken care of in ways that necessitate the short skirt and feather duster/tickler that accompany the classic-since-the-movie “Clue” costume: The French Maid.   Also gives you an excuse to finally use that high school French for something other than cursing dramatically abroad.

Buy her this drink: Kir Royale


Sexy Witch

The witch is a classic because it alludes to the many and varied tales of suburban sorcery that children were told about the creepy house on the end of the block to scare/protect them from being around strangers. It has evolved, happily, into a sexy, cleavage-bearing siren of All Hallow’s Eve for whom any of us would gladly roll the dice on a poison apple or two they offered us.

Buy her this drink: A brew with dry ice


Pirate Wench

Pirates were a little more a la mode when we were in the (disembodied) heart of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but sexy swashbuckling can never be swept entirely out to sea and out of style. The most advantageous part of this costume is that the corset is a necessity making any lady that wears it look especially…buoyant. Cheers!

Buy her this drink: Pirate’s Blood


The sexy prisoner is the living embodiment of all of our female prison fantasies. Trapped behind bars, this lonely lady hasn’t had anybody to make her into a woman for years. And, now, she’s out and she’s free. That hasn’t subjugated her attachment to handcuffs, but their use has changed ever so slightly.

Buy her this drink: Prison Bitch

Pleated Penalizer

The referee is here to keep things fair, but not necessarily to keep the gloves above the belt. The number and breadth of penalties you could incur boggles the mind and entices the rest of you. Encourage your vertically striped friend to penalize you in any way she deems fair and necessary to keep the completive nature of the game alive.

Buy her this drink: Zebra