Do you have certain wild, even freaky sexual fantasies? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. Many of them are more common than you may think.
According to a 2014 University of Montreal study, the most common sexual fantasies are sex in unusual or romantic places, sex with someone other than your partner and being dominated. Next comes public sex, spanking, threesomes, exhibitionism and swinging.
Here are some surprisingly common fantasies and what they might mean…
Most people, a whopping 59 percent, dig this thought. They don’t always want to be responsible for their decisions, so the thought of someone else having total control is a relief. “By playing a more submissive role, the pressure to perform and make decisions is diminished,” Astroglide’s Resident Sexologist, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, told Bustle.com.
2. Sex in Public
According to a University of Toronto study, 62 percent of people fantasize about doing it in a public place. It’s easy to see why it’s so popular, says O’Reilly, since it combines many common turn-ons, including “the risk of getting caught, the thrill of performing and being watched, and the excitement of doing something taboo.”
3. An Older Partner
Have you figured out that you’re oddly attracted to the thought of having sex with an older person? While the majority of our society idealizes youth, a lot of people are turned on by age. Perhaps it is because we’re attracted to the knowledge and wisdom older people bring us? “The desire to have sex with an older partner—someone who can perhaps lead us and show us the ropes—is remarkably common despite the fact that older people tend to be desexualized and senior sex is often mocked or rendered invisible in popular culture,” O’Reilly adds.
4. Group Sex
Are you taken but often think about threesomes? “I’ve worked with hundreds of couples who were interested in exploring the fantasy of a threesome,” O’Reilly says. She estimated that about a third of her clients with these fantasies have acted on them. Other clients haven’t gone the whole way, but indulged their threesome fantasies without a third party through web cams, dirty talk or role play. About half of those who acted the fantasy out were disappointed, though. “The fantasy, in fact, was hotter than reality.”
5. Forced Sex
Don’t get freaked out if you’re into “rape” fantasies. These thoughts are common among both male and females, with about a third of each actually having them. Obviously, this doesn’t mean anybody wants to be raped. “It’s likely that this number would be higher were it not for self-censorship of thought,” Dr. Jess explains. “We derive pleasure from the feelings of submission, victimization, and aggressive desire.”