Wed, 02/18/2009 - 6:20 pm

Word association time. When a guy hears the word "Brazil," he almost certainly thinks of three things:

  1. Soccer (or fútbol, if you want to get technical)
  2. Carnivale
  3. Heart-breakingly sexy women

Andressa Soares, Playboy model and celebrity extraordinaire, fits into the latter of those three categories. She's relatively unknown up here in the northern part of America, but she is a Sudamerican sensation. Recently, a workout video of hers surfaced in which some lucky school kids got to see her talent for dancing--the propriety of the video is left up to you, the viewer. One thing is for sure though: even though her Chicki page is in Portugese, we're willing to get lost in translation to extol the virtues of this vivacious lady (and a few other ladies who have strikingly similar, sexy attributes).

She's a Phenomenal Dancer

Bear with me, but this is what we know about Andressa's dancing ability according to her profile (with a little help from Yahoo's Babel Fish): she is well-known dancer of "funk and funkeira that if became celebrates for being one of the dancers of the call “Dance of the Créu" [sic]. From what we can figure, MC Creu is hip-hop DJ (whom her profile claims is a "one-hit wonder") supported by beautiful backup dancers like Andressa. We can make a connection here to many American starlettes, as celebrities and models from hip-hop to pop have danced back-up at one time or another.

Mya

Rihanna

Christina Aguilera (maybe on the Mickey Mouse Club)

She Has a Phenomenal Booty

The term "back-up" dancer is an apt one in Andressa's case, as she is best known for her ability to make grown men faint when they witness her booty-shaking skills. Many people in her home country claim that it is by dint of her derriere and her derriere alone that has made her so popular. It seems like a put-down at first, bt let's think about their claim for a moment: in a country known around the world for women with well-endowed back sides and incendiary dance moves, Ms. Soares' booty is so powerful that it brings contempt from other Brazilians for being too sexy! Now that's the kind of sentiment that would make Juvenile stand up and take notice. Take a moment to notice these bootylicious women as well.

Beyonce

Jennifer Lopez

Jessica Biel

Shakira

She's Graced the Pages of Brazilian Playboy

Even though times are tough for the magazine, let us not forget how hot one must be to join the Pantheon of Playboy Playmates (regardless of reality show fame and our envy for Hef's smoking jackets). Since the inception of Brazilian Playboy, a little over 400 women have graced its cover. Over 196 million people, maybe half of them female, claim Brazilian citizenship. What are the chances that you, or even anyone you know, will be one of the top 400 people out of a hundred million people in anything? I rest my case (and see a potential feature article in "Hottest Foreign Playmates" somewhere in the future). Here's a few other Brazilian hotties who'd certainly make our short list for hottest in the whole country.

Sheila Mello

Adriana Lima (we couldn't leave her out)

Izabel Goulart

Ana Paula Mancino

She's Got a Sweet Nickname

Due to her lusciously large figure, Andressa was given the nickname "Watermelon Woman." This might not sound like the most flattering nickname to give a woman, and not even a very subtle one either. We really have no right to judge, though, since our press usually gives couples and celebrities terrible mash-up monikers like "Brangelina," "Jacko," etc. You can insert your own melon pun here as you admire Andressa's figure once again before checking out some more celebrities with unusual nicknames.

Madonna - The Material Girl, Madge

Mariah Carey - Mimi

Kelly Clarkson - Kellebelle

Liv Tyler - Liver


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