Mark Twain
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

John Paul Getty
If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

My new saying:

J. Paul Getty
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.

Milton Berle
The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they’re smart.

This comes from Stephen Dunphy’s “Economic Memo” column in the Seattle
Times 4/10/94. He uses it to try to explain the mind-set of market
traders and the cause of unexplained market fluctuations.

An oil prospector, moving on to his heavenly reward, was met
by St.Peter with some bad news. “You’re qualified for residence, “
St. Peter said, “but as you can see, the compound for oil men is
packed. There’s no way to squeeze you in.”
After thinking for a moment, the prospector asked if he might
say just four words to the present occupants. That seemed harmless to
St. Peter, so the prospector cupped his hands and yelled, “Oil
discovered in Hell.”
Immediately the gate to the compound opened and all the oil
men marched out to head for the nether regions. Impressed, St. Peter
invited the prospector to move in and make himself comfortable. But
the prospector paused, then said:
“On second thought, I think I’ll go along with the rest of the
boys. There might be some truth to that rumor after all.”