Everybody’s got something to hide. Could be an emergency flask for when you run dry. Maybe it’s some of those funny cigarettes the kids are smoking, or incriminating evidence in your ongoing murder trial.
We don’t need to know what it is, nor do we want to. We just want to help you… A little less so in the case that you’re a murderer, but hey, we’ll let the judge and jury worry about that. For now, take comfort in the fact that whatever you’re hiding will remain hidden in one of these Hollow Book Safes.
How many times has somebody come to your place, picked up a random book, and started reading? Unless you live in a library, probably not a whole lot. You can order Hollow Book Safes to fit anything you need (within reason; the girl you’re cheating on your girlfriend with will not fit). And the book is made to look incredibly uninteresting (i.e every assigned reading in your British Lit class) so nobody is picking that thing up or asking to borrow it. The books range from $20-$34 dollars and can be purchased here.
If, for some reason, the college you went to discontinued their apparel, or, more likely, has a name that isn’t some kind of sexual pun, then worry no more. Now you can make your own (pun, not college).
You can choose whatever you’d like it to say, and there are no warnings against profanity, we have a feeling that suddenly there will be an influx of proud alumni from F*ck U, displayed in proud collegiate type across the nation.
Here’s a chance to get creative. You visited the Harvard campus once, right? Didn’t have time to make it to the gift shop? Print up one of those shirts and tell brainy babes you went there; technically, you’re not lying. You can do it for a laugh, or maybe just throw your last name on a bunch and surprise everyone at the family reunion. Ordering six or more will get you a sweet discount. Shirts and hats start at $14.99. You can create your own here.
There’s nothing quite like going for a peaceful, morning bike ride. Not a soul on the sidewalk, no traffic. The world is calm and still…Until some guy rolls up blasting Daddy Yankee.
But what if you had your own booming sound system on your bike? What if you had your own sound system on your bike? Perhaps the world’s Suck Quotient would lessen. These iPod Speakers mount on your bike, and allow you to blast your tunes worry-free while cycling. A remote control for switching songs and volumes latches onto your handlebars, so you can avoid flipping onto somebody’s windshield because you were frantically trying to lower the volume when the one Jewel song in your iTunes came on. The case is also water resistant, so don’t worry about being caught in the rain. In fact, the makers suggest taking the speakers poolside, or to the beach — they’ll work anywhere. Pick up your own bike sound system here. If only they’d come up with hydraulics for bikes. Then you’d really be bumping.
If you’re tired of hemorrhaging money to the local drive through coffee despot, but you don’t think you can drink a pot yourself, give this gizmo a flip in your morning routine.
Plenty of leaves and trees, but not a drop of joe. And you’re supposed to wake up at what time to fish? Here’s something to lend a helping hand when you don’t have the time or patience to wait for a pot to brew at home, or if there’s just no Starbucks within a 30 mile radius (which these days means you’re on the ocean floor. cool). Try the Flip-N-Drip Coffee Maker.
Just boil some water in the base, attach the brew chamber filled with your blend of choice, flip, and let the magical percolating begin. Take it on the run to work, or on a morning bike ride; the sixteen ounce coffee maker will fit by your side anywhere you’re headed. And, after work, the brew chamber doubles as a mixer for your favorite adult beverages when you don’t have a full bar at your disposal. The Flip-N-Drip costs $45 and you can grab it here.
There are two things in life you should never leave home without. You’ll never know where and when you’ll need them. But, when the time comes, you’ll know and be glad you’ve got ‘em.
These two things are (1) a type of liquor of your choosing and (2) a deck of playing cards. There is no situation you can find yourself in that one or both of these things cannot get you out of. Except for maybe a meeting of the Alcoholic Gamblers Anonymous, in which case you’re ironically out of luck.
Unfortunately a deck of playing cards doesn’t fit in your wallet, and carrying around a handle of Tequila Ley doesn’t exactly mark you as the neighborhood’s classiest citizen. Luckily, you can now carry the two together in a tight, but stylish package. The Multi-Flask Card Carrier is made of faux suede and leather, and comes with a stainless steel flask. A front pocket fits a crisp new deck of cards perfectly, of which you will be supplied when purchasing the case and flask. The case costs $24.00 and can be bought here.
There’s two ways to look really cool sitting in a chair: The A.C Slater maneuver, in which you swing the chair to face you, sit in it backwards, and call your girlfriend “Mama”, or the Lean Back, in which you lean on the back legs as if to say, “Yo, teach! Wassup?”
The only advantage the Slater has is that with the Lean Back, you’re at higher risk for a “Fall Back On Your Ass” if your chair isn’t sturdy enough or you get a little overzealous and lean past the point of no return.
But with the Attitude Chair, invented by Deger Cengiz, you can lean back comfortably without worrying about becoming the next star of a viral video. The chair has two extra legs (third legs, if you will) built to the sides that don’t touch the floor when sitting normally, but swing out to replace the two front legs that have lifted off the ground when you lean back. It’s fool proof. The Attitude Chair is $500 and can be bought here.
Next time your friend starts bragging about his brand new flat screen, shrug and tell him you’re more of an “omni-directional guy.” When he doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about, show him your T.O.O.B Omni-directional Dome screen. Then, watch his head explode.
The dome by T.O.O.B is the new wave in home entertainment, bringing IMAX to your living room. Now you don’t have to go out to a movie theatre to experience a screen that completely immerses you. Throw in any movie or any video game and be blown away right in the comfort of your living room… or anywhere outdoors. Huh, you say? That’s right, the dome is inflatable, and thus portable, and works perfectly on a warm summer night outside. Your buddy will never get to watch his movies on his flat screen “al fresco”. Explain that this is yet another reason why you are superior to him.
Somewhere deep in a closet in the house you grew up in there is an old dusty box. And in that old dusty box are a bunch of grey cartridges that once consumed your every waking thought.
These are the original Nintendo Entertainment System’s 8-bit video games from your childhood that you could never bring yourself to throw away. Why? Because you knew that one day you might just need them again. One day, they might just save your life. Well, take a deep breath and start blowing out those cartridges. That day has come.
The Retro Mini Handheld NES System lets you pop in those old games and play them all over again on a high-res, LCD screen. And if mini ain’t your thing, there are AV out cables so you can play on your billion inch flatscreen if you’d like. Slide the cartridge into the top, turn it on, and you’re instantly taken back to your childhood. The Retro Mini goes for $40.00 and can be bought here.
There are some days when it’s not okay to lay on the couch all day, nursing a hangover. For instance, if you’re supposed to be married that day. Or, better, if your buddies are relying on your killer jumpshot. Or another party.
So it would be nice if the people in charge of science had some sort of emergency summit and discussed the thing that’s been plaguing man longer than… well, the plague: the Hangover. Unfortunately, this isn’t at the top of their list these days (we hear AIDS, boner pills and cancer are what science’s big guns are shooting for), but luckily, author and bartender Ben Reed decided to fight the good fight for us with his new book “Hangover Cures”.
The 64-page book explains the causes of hangovers, how to prevent them, and remedies from around the world to help you stop dry heaving into your bathroom sink. These are tried and true recipes from a veteran bartender who has been featured in “GQ”, and author of the book “The Art of the Cocktail.” This guy knows his stuff. So there is no need to spend another Sunday suffering. Pick up the book for $10 and make all the pain go away.
Just letting you know, your childhood dreams have come true. The Force is real, and you can learn to wield it to your own desire. Okay, deep breaths. Don’t geek out. Gotta get through this with some shred of dignity. Not unlike a Jedi.
Okay, so you won’t exactly be using Jedi mind tricks to get hot chicks to go home with you, or lifting your car with your mind to change a flat tire. You’ll be making a ping-pong sized ball float a few inches in the air. But, hey, even Obi-Wan had to start somewhere, right? With the Star Wars Force Trainer, you’ll be living by yourself in the desert and scaring off Sand People in no time.
The headset you’ll be strapping on reads your brain waves and determines how hard you are concentrating, which signals the Force Trainer to blow the ball higher in the air or lower it. And, brace for the geek out again, there are 15 voice-guided levels in which words of encouragement and wisdom will be provided to you by none other than… Yoda. What else do we have to say to get you to buy this thing? It comes with Leia in her Jabba’s Sand-Barge bikini?
It goes for about $120. Now if only somebody would invent real Ewoks so they can be our pets.