There’s not a lot of things in the world more infuriating than walking in a parking lot and finding your car A) blocked in, B) so close to another car only T-1000 from Terminator 2 could slip in, or C) not there.

We can’t help with the last one. But the other two now have a solution that does not involve your keys and somebody paying for a new paint job. The answer to all idiotic park-jobs can be found in this book of parking tickets. Express your exact thoughts to the people while avoiding face-to-face confrontation. Assuming the person isn’t blind (judging by the way they left their car that is a distinct possibility) they will return to their vehicle to see your ticket. And you will have won the day. Such gems as “Did you park like this or was there an earthquake?”, “This parking job violates the law. Of physics,” and “Parking isn’t your thing. Stick to drive-thrus.” They’ll get the point, and without you karate kicking their bumper off. And maybe they’ll think twice about how they park in the future. This book of parking tickets is only $7 and can be purchased here.