Headed to Los Angeles? You can only spend so much time at Disneyland. Straight from the caffeine-addled brain of a seasoned Hollywood resident, here’s a roundup of much better ways to spend your time in the City of Angels.


Frolic Room
: If you’re in Hollywood, you’d better hit up this legendary dive bar that was once Charles Bukowski’s second home. Named by LA Weekly as the best dive bar in Hollywood.


Hollywood Forever Cemetery: A great place to walk around and see famous dead people, a must for any visit to Los Angeles. Ramones, Mel Blanc and Cecil B DeMille can all be found here. Pro tip: Watch out for angry geese.


Amoeba Music
: This is a truly epic record store. Imagine a massive warehouse filled with vinyl, CDs, tapes, DVDs, BluRay, rock memorabilia and a million other things. A great place to walk around for an hour or three.


Monday Night Tease
: It’s LA’s longest-running burlesque show and they do it at Three Clubs, a Hollywood dive bar that’s one of the filming locations for Mad Men. Kill two birds with one stone!


The Museum of Jurassic Technology
: This place sort of defies description, but at its low price, it doesn’t really matter. You can check the thing out for itself. Weird stuff. Dead stuff. Weird dead stuff. They’ve got it all.


Museum of Death in Hollywood
: Death. Dying. Murder. Everything you did and didn’t want to know about it, right on Hollywood Boulevard. See everything from strange mourning customs to photos of Manson Family Crime scenes to Jayne Mansfield’s stuffed Chihuahua.


Grindhouse Film Festival
: Check out some of the edgiest films ever made at a cinema owned by Quentin Tarantino. Whether you’re in the mood for boobs, gore or laughs, “the best film night for people with bad taste” (LA Weekly) will oblige.


Jumbo’s Clown Room
: This is the legendary place where Courtney Love used to pole dance many moons ago. It’s not a strip club, it’s a bikini bar, which means the girls dance harder and you can bring your girl here.


Dearly Departed Tours
: The only van ride that brings you Manson Family locations and tours of of LA from “Nasty Nellie” of Little House on the Prairie semi-fame. This outfit also runs Hollywood Movie Tours, for the less morbid among us.


Santa Monica Pier
: One tourist trap that you have absolutely no reason not to go see. In addition to being great fun, it’s also at the end of Historic Route 66 and right near plenty of nice beach real estate.