Of course, all breeds are not created equal, and some have more mojo with the ladies than others. So before you head down to the pound to pick up your new wingman, consider what different dogs say to the fairer sex.
Then choose the kind that’s going to attract the type of women you want in your life. Like, for instance, one of these.
The Pharaohs of ancient Egypt kept basenjis, so you’ll be cashing in on a little royal cache. These furry fellows are literally incapable of barking. Instead, they yodel, giving them a silly and distinctive voice that women just eat up. Their adorable ringtails just add to the female appeal. You’ll also be able to identify a smart woman when one comes up to you and says: “Is that a basenji? Is it true that they were kept by the Pharaohs and can’t bark?”
When you get a golden retriever, you’re going to think that every girl had one when she was little, or at least wanted one. Getting a golden retriever is kind of like cheating. You’re going right for the jugular with a dog that shows you are an active man with classic tastes and a soft spot for cute canines. The stupid face they make when they pant doesn’t hurt, either. And sporty women will walk right up to you on the street and ask if your dog likes to swim. Say yes.
First of all, pit bull refers to several dogs, not just one. They run the gamut from dogs that run all over the place to others that are content to sleep 18 hours a day, rousting themselves only to mark a fire hydrant and chow down on some kibble. In any case, the pit bull is a dog that says, “I am tougher than a pit bull, but sensitive enough to want to adopt one.” If you can’t parlay that into something to do every Friday night, you need more help than I can give you. Just don’t be that guy who trains it to be a man-killer. That screams overcompensating douchebag louder than a closet full of sleeveless Tapout shirts.
Any Small Yappy Dog
Small dog breeds such as Chihuahuas, pugs, miniature pinschers and bichon frises have become increasingly popular with guys in recent years, for good reason. They’ve got larger-than-life personalities and are easy for the modern urban man to keep. Did we mention they’re total chick magnets? Get used to hearing, “Awww, it’s sooo cuuute!” every time you leave the house. They let women know that you’re so manly you aren’t afraid to walk around with a purse dog. And the spirited demeanor of these dogs mean you won’t have to approach women at all. Your little furball will be happy to do it for you.
Huskies are great for one really simple reason: they’re just gorgeous. Their white fur and pretty eyes makes them the center of attention wherever they go. If you luck out, you’ll get one with heterochromia (an awesome word I just learned that means the dog has two different-colored eyes), a quirky feature that will have women gawking. (Bonus points if you have heterochromia as well.) Take this one to the park, throw a ball around and just wait for the women to flock to the Ryan Gosling of dogs.