Everybody gets stressed. And, people have to figure out how to get rid of that stress. Women have their ways, and guys have theirs. There is no wrong way to relieve stress. Some people work out, some people play video games. However, if you’re into the machismo thing, there are some less than manly ways to relieve said stress. These six manly stress relievers will have Rocky questioning his manhood.
Be Atlas. If you’re in a bad mood and need to blow off stress, get in the gym and lift a few tons. Don’t do your normal punk routine off a few sit ups, push ups, and thirty minutes on the treadmill. Get your butt in gear and bust a few blood vessels pushing up two cars on the weight bench. Then try your hand, err your legs at squatting a house on your back. You’ll be so tired after you leave the gym, stress won’t be a factor.
Be Rocky. Wrap your hands up in surgical tape. Throw on some old sweats and jog ten miles with a book bag full of bricks hanging from your back. Make sure you run towards the nearest meet packing facility in your town. After the manliest of manly jogs is completed, find a cow carcass and take out your frustrations on it. Beat the meat till your knuckles are sore and blue. Stress who?
Be Hef. Sex is by far the best stress reliever. Period. But, this isn’t about just relieving stress. This is about relieving stress in the most manly fashion as possible. You don’t just have sex with one girl, get seven. Grab a comfortable robe, smokers jacket, and a pipe. Get your sex kittens to your house and relieve some stress in one of the most manly ways possible.
Be a Paratrooper. Yeah, one free fall from a plane at umpteen thousand feet will relieve any of the previous stress you were dealing with. Though, you may suddenly develop stress from suddenly and quickly falling out of a plane. The rush alone will make you feel born again. When you safely land, that is, if you safely land, the trivial stuff that stressed you out an hour ago won’t mean very much anymore.
Be Tyler Durden. Kicking the crap out of another man, or to yourself for that matter, is one of the manliest ways to relieve stress, ever. Start an underground fight club. Imagine your opponent as your jerk of a boss and beat every spreadsheet you ever created out of this man. Use your fists to knock your measly three percent raise into the back of this guy’s throat. A knee to the stomach will make you feel better about not being able to use any paid vacation days because of that new merger.
Be a nerd. Log into the social network of your choice and complain about your day. Use the worst swear words in your vocabulary to describe your day. Simultaneously monitor your favorite porn websites. All at the same time, while playing the most violent video game you own. Hell, you can even throw in a little alcohol and barbeque if you want. Stress will be a distant memory in no time.