Yeah, we know. But that’s not the kind of exotic trophies we’re talking about. We’re talking about men conquering the wild in the way the good lord intended. Men and beasts have been battling since the beginning of time. Fortunately, today’s big game are far more obtainable than the dragons and dinosaurs of yore. Every battle has a story; they’re just so much better when they’re nailed to your wall! And with this much stuffing in your study, even your neighbor’s trophy wife will blush at the sight of your gun.

Elephant

Sit on the throne of nature’s royalty. You’ll need the rest after grappling with this giant. An elephant’s skin is so thick (1 inch, ladies), a gun had to be specifically designed to kill them. Any man strong enough to handle a weapon that powerful is man enough to deal with the fact that an elephant never forgets.

Buffalo

You don’t have to be an American cowboy to rope yourself a buffalo. Hell, you don’t even have to be American. Just be sure remember which hand your whiskey is in when you retell the story of how you got this game.

Shark

A punch on the nose isn’t enough to get one of these on your wall, unless you’re this guy. Not even an exploding scuba tank will work. You’re much better off harpooning one the old-fashioned way.

Lioness

Sure you could kill a lion, if you want to be a pussy. The real kill is the lioness. This huntress is man enough to slay an elephant. Bonus: this one bleeds gold.

Crocodile

There’s no better way to win a mount than by wrestling it to death. You’ll surely impress your friends with this one, considering that sometimes even real men can’t beat a croc.

Squirrel

The only thing more satisfying than killing off these rodents infesting your backyard is sending a message to their brothers. Go ahead and drink one down from your customized flask and let the creative juices flow.

Chupacabra

The myth of the goat eating monster has finally been confirmed. What, dare you ask, did the man who first caught this creature do with it? He threw it in his freezer and called his local taxidermist.


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