Polarizing, impish, smug, “the guy I’d shove into a locker in high school”—the Internets have a lot to say about Jeopardy’s current champ, Buzzy Cohen, who just added an eighth win to his streak last night, bringing his total bounty to more than $164,000.
As he goes for win no. 9 tonight, we wonder why everyone is so up in arms about this guy. Is it his comic book sidekick-like name? His expertly quaffed hair? How he trolls Alex Trebek with his Saturday Night Live-esque responses? The way he keeps brushing imaginary dirt off his shoulders to celebrate his wins?
Our conclusion: People are genetically pre-disposed to want to punch hipsters in their bespectacled faces, and people love to hate cocky winners. You can win, of course, but we want to see you struggle to get there. And if you’re not struggling, you better be gracious and humble about it. Buzzy ain’t having any of that shit. He’s trouncing all comers without breaking a sweat, acing obscure topics while simultaneously giving the legendarily stodgy Alex Trebek a hard time.
We say, haters gonna hate. You keep doing you, Buzzy. And if you’re looking to emulate Mr. Cohen’s style, check out our Buzzy Cohen Starter Kit— smug self-satisfaction and impressive trivia knowledge not included.
1. Douchey Glasses ($95, Warby Parker): Though Buzzy said in an interview that his glasses are from a fancy French brand called Veu DC (of course they are—typical Buzzy), you can get by just fine with these specs from the less expensive but equally douchey Warby Parker.
2. Tons of Pomade ($22, Groomistry): People want to talk shit about Buzzy’s hair, but it looks pretty friggin’ flawless to us, and that’s probably because he uses about as much pomade as Elvis did back in the ’50s. And Imperial Barber pomade matches his imperious attitude.
3. White Dress Shirt ($150, Mr. Porter): The kind your mom made you wear.
4. Slim-Fit Suit ($499, Suit Supply): Whether you call it “slim-fit” or “hipster-cut,” you bet your ass Buzzy’s wearing a well-tailored suit. On the weekends, you can also guarantee Buzzy’s sliding into a pair of skinny jeans (probably made of rare Japanese raw selvedge denim).
5. Skinny Tie ($19, The Tie Bar): Aside from a plaid shirt and stupidly-shaped glasses, the calling card of the hipster is a skinny tie, and Buzzy’s been sporting ’em all week on Jeopardy.
6. Assholes Finish First ($14, Amazon): Since Buzzy’s got an eight-day winning streak on Jeopardy, we already know he’s a million times smarter than the world’s biggest douchebag, Tucker Max. HOWEVER—Buzzy does seem to share Max’s personal mantra—assholes finish first. Suck it, Trebek.
7. Fat Wallet ($29, MRKT): Regardless of all the Internet chatter, Buzzy’s walking away with at least $164,000 in his pocket. Time to invest in a new home for all those Tubmans.