Tim Duncan announced his retirement today from the NBA, after 19 seasons and five NBA titles. And everybody on TV and the internet is now climbing over each other to see who can gush the most about what a great player and person Tim Duncan was.

Well, count me as going the other way. Tim Duncan wasn’t that great. As a player? Yes, he was very good. He was an excellent rebounder and shot blocker and he could hit 15-foot bank shots as well as anyone who has ever played the game.

Being shy doesn’t make you a good guy. It just makes you boring.

But as a person, he is extremely overrated. What did he actually do that was that great?

He wasn’t great. He was just regular.

Tim Duncan was shy. People confuse that with other things, like modesty or decency or goodness. Maybe he was just shy. A guy shouldn’t get credit for not talking much. That doesn’t mean he’s not thinking of horrible things.

Being shy doesn’t make you a good guy. It just makes you boring.

I mean, he was so boring. You couldn’t watch an interview with Tim Duncan and feel anything. A soundbyte from Duncan was like listening to paint dry. If every athlete were like Tim Duncan, it would be impossible to get interested in sports. He was like the Pete Sampras of basketball. Give me Agassi or McEnroe any day. Sure, they weren’t as good as Sampras, but at least they’d keep you awake.

Not only that, but his good nature is way overblown. He wasn’t an asshole. Wow. Is that really some fantastic achievement? No.

He was a good teammate. But how is that different than 75% of the workforce in this country? Garbagemen are good teammates. Doesn’t mean we should build statues to them. They’re just doing their job.

Also, it’s not like he worked for free. Yes, he gave the Spurs a hometown discount, but he didn’t play for like $25,000 per year and give the rest of his salary to charity. Now that would be something.

You mean he got 15 million a year for playing basketball and he wasn’t a dick? Wow, let’s throw a parade.

Also: he’s charitable, but he’s not Mother Teresa. Is he constantly hopping on planes to donate food to hungry children in third world countries? Not that I’m aware of. Last time I checked he wasn’t working a phone bank at the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

He was just a regular guy. He divorced his wife and is now with a much hotter woman. That’s par for the pro athlete course.

Plus, as a player he was far from perfect. He was on the Olympic team that only got a bronze medal in 2004. That’s pretty shitty. Nobody talks about that.

He made the All-Star team in 2015 when he didn’t deserve to. He still went and played. (Scored two points.)

Is he constantly hopping on planes to donate food to hungry children in third world countries? Not that I’m aware of.

He was constantly barking at the referees and staring at them incredulously. Especially toward the end.

He was all too happy to sit out full games to recover, even though hard-working Americans had paid hundreds of dollars to come see him perform. Why didn’t he stand up to Popovich and demand to play? Demand to be left in against the Heat in Game 6 when Ray Allen hit the three? That would’ve taken courage. Balls. Something exceptional.

He was a lot more similar to the average NBA player, personality-wise, than most members of the media would like to admit.

Having said all this, I do like that he waited until after the season to announce his retirement so we didn’t have to suffer through a nine-month farewell tour. For that alone I’ll put him above Kobe Bryant in the character department. But he was still about a million percent less interesting. And that counts for a lot.

After all, pro basketball is entertainment. For as much as the media praised his intelligence, Duncan never really got that.