The holidays are awesome and awesomely stressful. You’ve got to buy the right gifts, impress the right people, and cook the right food to keep everybody happy. We’ve covered your bases for the first two things on that list, so now we’d like to give you the option of a hassle-free, appetizer-style meal that eschews that multiple-hour turkey for a snack-and-grab setup that everybody can get behind. They’re festive and social enough to pass muster and they all have easy recipes short enough to memorize. Of course, if you’re more ambitious, there’s always the turducken.

The Snacks

Chili Con Queso Dip
1lb Velveeta cheese cubed
1 cup hot salsa
1 cup sour cream
Combine it all in a pot, heat on low so it doesn’t burn to the bottom of the pan. Eat it with tortilla chips.

Puppy Chow
Stick of butter
Half a bag of chocolate chips
½ cup of peanut butter
2 cups sugar
½ a box of Rice Chex
2 cups powdered sugar
Melt the chocolate, butter, and peanut butter together then mix it into the Chex. Put in a bag with the powdered sugar and shake it like a salt shaker.

Sugar Bacon-Wrapped Smokies
Package of smoked sausage links
Package of bacon
Package of brown sugar
Wrap the sausages in bacon and pin together with a toothpick. Shake them in a bag of brown sugar until coated. Bake on a cookie tray at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Chocolate Fondue
Two bags of chocolate chips
Cup of heavy whipping cream
Combine in a fondue pot, or in a normal pot on low heat. Stir regularly. Eat with whatever is around.

Crab Dip
8 oz. container of cream cheese
Canned crab
Cocktail sauce

Spread the cream cheese over a plate, spread the cocktail sauce over the cream cheese, sprinkle the crab meat over the cocktail sauce. Serve with crackers.

The Drinks

The *Expletive Deleted
1 part eggnog
1 part Goldschlager

Chocolate Covered Cherry
Shot of peppermint shnaps
Dash of cherry grenadine/maraschino cherry juice
Cup of instant hot chocolate

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
1 part light rum
squeeze of lemon
dash of cherry grenadine

Hot Toddy
2 shots whiskey
dash of sugar
fill rest of cup with hot water

Holiday Beers
There’s plenty, but our choice is Sam Adams which contains:
Boston Lager
Cream Stout
Holiday Porter
Winter Lager
Old Fezziwig
Cranberry Lambic