They say that behind every strong man is a very strong woman. If that’s the case, then the female counterparts of NFL (or National Fine Ladies) players must be some of the most powerfully alluring women in the world. They have to be, considering that their beaus could almost certainly crush every bone in your body to chalky dust with one spear tackle. Take Terrell Owens, for instance: he has dated some dazzling beauties in his time and is known to smush the skulls of lesser men with giant thunderclaps reminiscent of Jax’s from Mortal Kombat III.
Alright, so, maybe the second part of that assertion isn’t entirely true….but he has dated some gorgeous women. I can’t lie to you, faithful Chicki reader.
Ms. Walcott is currently dating Adam Archuleta, the safety for the Chicago Bears. Unless you are a huge fan of Da Bears, though, it seems likely that Jennifer would be the first one noticed by most male onlookers if they ever happened upon the couple as they walked down the street. In fact, the sexiness of this former playmate has been known to drop jaws so hard they often become dislocated; in extreme cases, her full lips and hips cause full-scale memory loss of what the word "football" even means. As expected, even Archuleta himself has trouble remembering how to put on his pads after even glancing at his drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend.
Mrs. Cooley was a former NFL cheerleader and model for the Washington Redskins before marrying their tight end, Chris Cooley. She broke several rules that the Redskinettes had in place against fraternizing with the players, but their happy marriage shows once again that rules are meant to be broken. Her wet, wild, and erotic photo shoot for Maxim (pictured above) may have enticed Mr. Cooley to bend the rules as well. Just a little bit.
Numbers 5, 4, and 3: The Romo Triad
Everyone knows about the blonde hex visited upon Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo by Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood. Few fans know, however, that the entire curse began when Sophia Bush started popping up at his games. Their deviltry was so strong that, at the beginning of this season, Romo was incapacitated for several games due to a strained pinky on his throwing hand. At least, that’s what ESPN wanted you to think. Those three sirens actually placed a Wiccan incantation on him similar to one you might find on a strange, football-skewed spin-off of the hit series Charmed. True story. Photographic evidence follows below. What man wouldn’t be entranced by their unrelenting charm and beauty?
In a list of very idealistic couplings, Gisele and controversial BF Tom Brady seem the most storybook: He is the handsome, Super Bowl-winning quarterback; she is the gorgeous Brazillian, Victoria Secret super model. You almost expect that they were contractually obligated to date one another at some point in time just to make everyone else feel bad: "The undersigned must date at least one (1) other ridiculously successful and good-looking person of the opposite sex in order to make normal people lust after our products in a hopeless attempt to be more like you." Teenage guys: become lawyers, and maybe you can slip another clause in there that is good for a few dates with your painfully sexy Brazilian clients.
After a little research, it seems that the sexiest women on Earth will actually give bald men a chance–as long as they play quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. It’s a strict two-NFL-team minimum. Carmella dates Jeff Garcia, and she first became famous for nearly winning Playboy’s "Who Wants to be a Playboy Centerfold." She also gained a lot of fame as a WWE Diva. But her fights outside of the ring land her at the top of this countdown. She was arrested and detained for a short time in 2004 after beating down Kristine Hine, who happened to be scamming on Garcia at the time. Not only is Carmella hotter than 99.9% of the world population, she also knows how to fight for her man. If only Garcia’s offensive line could protect him like that.