Our frosty, nom-able partner’s in crime, Klondike, want you to make fun of your friends. We want that, too. Sounds hilarious. So they made a facebook app called “Roast-a-Friend” just so you can get away with it. The idea is that you embarass, enrage, or otherwise demean your friends in the hopes that they have a thick, delicious shell (not unlike a certain frosty treat we know), and that everybody will have a grand old time.
For now, though, here’s one of our favorite, historical roasts.
Lady Astor vs. Winston Churchill
Lady Astor was a real bitch, man. She was the first woman in history to be admitted to the British parliament and she absolutely hated Winston Churchill. This is somewhat predictable as Churchill was a churlish drunk ironically blessed with a silver tongue and an unapollgetic chauvinist.
But, truly, who cares. What we care about is the witty repartee they shared and not their sexual politics. They were both at Blenheim Castle for an extended stay (which is where Churchill was born). They’d been arguing for the length of an entire weekend when Lady Astor, up to her frilly collar in sexist shenanigans no doubt, exclaimed, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
Churchill, who did not dick around, took this pithy insult in stride responding, “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
Nailed it. Enjoy your frosty treat, big guy.
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