7. Ball at the one-yard line, 26 seconds left, down by four. Maybe hand it off to the guy on your team known as Beast Mode and win the Super Bowl?
6. Katy Perry’s first outfit, the orange flame one. The giant animatronic lion was cool and all, but that dress looked like something off of Guy Fieri’s sleeve.
5. GoDaddy.com replacing its controversial puppy-mill commercial with… the most boring commercial in the history of the Super Bowl.
4. Robert Kraft ensuring most of the country hates him by wearing one of those stupid blue dress shirts with the white collar. Also known as the Gordon Gekko Douchebag Special.
3. Back to Katy Perry. To help her entertain the world at halftime, she tabbed Lenny Kravitz and… Missy Elliott. Were UB40 and Sisqo unavailable?
2. The Kennedy family, for whoring out JFK’s cool-ass speech about the ocean and the sea and everything nautical to a freakin’ cruise line. That commercial was 98 percent awesome finished off with 2 percent of cheap and wrong. Sort of like the game.
1. Seriously, Seattle: Hand the ball off to Lynch, take the Lombardi Trophy and get outta town.