Today Forbes magazine released one of their fancy ‘Top Ranking’ lists. This time, rather than it be about the Top Most Expensive Boring Jobs, 500 Most Unattractive Rich Guys, or some other garbage, it was actually something we could relate to. The NFL, baby!

Forbes knows that ever since the season officially kicked off last week, our appetite for some smash-mouth, full-contact numbers has never been greater.

In this year’s list, the eggheads over at Forbes take a look at which of the NFL’s team are the most valuable. The list follows some general preconceived guidelines, but also has a few surprises. For instance, did you realize that despite sucking so badly, the Washington Redskins have consistently managed to be one of the league most profitable and valuable teams? Neither did we!

And because we hate how Forbes has all their lists in an annoying slideshow format, we’ve assembled all the important details in a handy list format below. You don’t have to thank us, really you don’t.

1.) Dallas Cowboys – $1.612 Billion

Not really a surprise. They have the nickname ‘America’s Team’, so it’s probably a safe bet that they’re ‘the most capitalistic’. However if Jessica Simpson keeps running her mouth about her QB boyfriend ‘skills’, they’ll writing checks they can’t back up.

2.) Washington Redskins – $1.538 Billion

Richard Nixon was a big Redskins fans back in the day and it’s somewhat of a tradition that Washington’s elite root for these guys, the team with the surprisingly racist name. How did that never get changed? Well, they’ve got Jason Taylor now so it looks like their stock is rising. Still, a surprisingly high turnout for a team that’s just barely made the playoffs the past few years.

3.) New England Patriots – $1.324 Billion

Probably one of the biggest sports franchise turn arounds. When Robert Kraft took over the team and implemented his hardnose business approach, they started winning. But now with Brady out with a serious injury, what are they supposed to do?

4.) New York Giants – $1.178 Billion

A big turnaround for the G-Men. After being #21 overall on last year’s list they hopped up to the Top 5. Just goes to show what one of the most exciting end of the season runs and Superbowl victories can do for a franchise.

5.) New York Jets – $1.170 Billion

It’s all about the NY market, baby. But with Favre and a new stadium on the way, the team of Joe Namath is bringing in some decent coin.

6.) Houston Texans – $1.125 Billion

Here’s another big surprise. The Texans, one of the most recent expansion teams is worth a ton of money. #6 overall. Who would have thought? I bet the stadium is right on top of an oil field or something.

7.) Philadelphia Eagles – $1.116 Billion

And here’s the 4th team from the NFC East. After the cowboys, giants and redskins, it looks like this division takes the cake for most profitable, and possibly the most difficult group to win.

8.) Indianapolis Colts – $1.076 Billion

Brand new stadium, great franchise quarterback in Peyton Manning, what’s not to love about the old Indy Colts?

9.) Chicago Bears – $1.064 Billion

Another example of the big city market. Combine a team with a rich history, 2 part SuperBowl shuffle, some Mike Ditka action, an SNL sketch (DA BEARSZ!), and you’ve got yourself some decent revenue.

10.) Baltimore Ravens – $1.062 Billion

The Ravens are a well marketed team. After winning the SuperBowl in 2000, they made Ray Lewis and Tony Siragusa household names. Nowadays they are coming up with clever marketing tactics like getting the whole stadium packed for a pre-season game and then letting everyone stick around to watch hometown hero Michael Phelps win one of his medals at the Olympics.

11.) Denver Broncos – $1.061 Billion

12.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers $1.053 Billion

13.) Miami Dolphins – $1.044 Billion

Interesting fact- The Dolphins haven’t really changed their team logo since the franchise started. Pretty impressive in this ‘new logo’ every season league nowadays.

14.) Carolina Panthers – $1.040 Billion

15.) Cleveland Browns – $1.035 Billion

16.) Green Bay Packers – $1.023 Billion

Would have thought these guys would be higher. Just below the Browns? Come on, this is epic ‘Green Bay’ we’re talking about.

17.) Kansas City Chiefs – $1.016 Billion

18.) Pittsburgh Steelers – $1.015 Billion

19.) Seattle Seahawks – $1.010 Billion

20.) Tennessee Titans – $994 Million

21.) Cincinnati Bengals – $941 Million

22.) New Orleans Saints – $937 Million

23.) St. Louis Rams – $929 Million

24.) Detroit Lions – $917 Million

25.) Arizona Cardinals – $914 Million

26.) San Diego Chargers – $888 Million

27.) Buffalo Bills – $885 Million

28.) Jacksonville Jaguars – $876 Million

29.) Atlanta Falcons – $872 Million

30.) San Francisco 49ers – $865 Million

31.) Oakland Raiders – $861 Million

Another sad story of a once proud and dominant team falling to the bottom of the pile. The Raiders really need to get their act together and revitalize the franchise.

32.) Minnesota Vikings – $839 Million

The Vikings are in a tough spot. Somewhat overshadowed by the epic Green Bay packers, they’ve also struggled to win games in the past few seasons. Plus it’s freezing up there and they wear purple uniforms. Adrian Peterson is exciting as hell though, he’s the type of player that could be a marketing team’s wet dream.

The NFL is by far the most profitable sports league in the world. 19 teams are over the billion dollar valuation mark. However, England’s Manchester United soccer team still holds the top spot of most expensive club overall at $1.8 billion.

Give us a shout on which teams’ valuations surprised you the most.

Forbes: The Business Of Football, September 12, 2008

Team helmet logos via Chris Creamer’s