Ah, the sidekick. We’re not talking about the motley, delicious assemblage of side orders at Arby’s, nor are we talking about the T-Mobile cell phone. We’re (surprise) talking about ladies. These are the girls behind the guys who work behind the scenes (though often in low-cut blouses) to make sure everything runs smoothly on the main stage. Their wits and
tits savvy have kept our favorite heroes out of trouble more than once, so here we honor the 11 sexiest sidekicks.
10. Vicki St. Elmo
“Three minutes Macgruber!”
Vicki isn’t the hottest babe on this list, but her devotion to the schlubby MacGruber makes her one of our favorites because she’s “the attainable one.” Disarming foes and friends alike with her mousy, non-threatening intellect, Vicki St. Elmo is more dangerous than she looks. Played by the hot-yet-approachable Kristin Wiig, check her out in MacGruber and see for yourself.
"All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust."
Tinkerbell, the mischievous, leaf-wearing pixie to Peter Pan’s boy wonder, was most recently portrayed by mega-fox French actress Ludivine Sagnier (above). But, as men of the appropriate age to have enjoyed "Hook" as a theatrical release well know, the sexiest Tink has ever looked was when she gave a real live kiss to Peter Pan as a grown-up version of herself. If making it with magical, fairy version of Julia Roberts isn’t on your short list of fantasies, man, you’ve got some thinking to do.
8. Agent 99
"Are you staring at my butt?"
Agent 99 is the sexier side of the spy duo from the TV series turned feature film, "Get Smart." Originally portrayed by 50s stunner Barbara Feldon, Agent 99 was more recently and more saucily portrayed by the increasingly hot Anne Hathaway. Agent 99 puts the CONTROL in control-top leggings, keeps Max out of trouble, and keeps chaos in check – all without mussing her makeup up.
7. Dana Scully
Your stubborness, Mulder… it’s why I fell in love with you."
Scully, the M.D. who kept Mulder from going (too far) off the deep end, was a sexy, super-smart, F.B.I. agent in the incredibly popular "X-Files" television series and subsequent films. Despite her hard-boiled, just-the-facts skepticism, one always suspected a warmth to Scully that made her endlessly endearing. These suspicious, of course, were realized at the end of season 7, and she became (and remains) a paragon of hottness in nerddome.
"I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It’ll be like Fantasia"
Willow is a lesbian, Jewish witch who hunts vampires. Much as that sounds like that
awful amazing premise to a stag flick, it’s just one of many pieces which makes the Josh Whedon creation, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" so brilliant. Portrayed by Alyson Hannigan, the girl who marched her way into our hearts, flute in hand wherever in "American Pie," Willow’s devotion to Buffy, and the slaying of evil immortals, is nothing short of the stuff love is made of.
“Just keep your head down! … There’s two of us in here now, remember.”
Cortana is a sufficiently complex enough A.I. program as to be considered borderline life form. She accompanied the iconic John 117 Master Chief on innumerable missions proving invaluable in her contributions to intelligence and combat. Also, she’s basically naked all the time, so she gets some major sidekick points for that, obviously. Fun fact: the voice of Cortana, Jen Taylor, was also a video game voice actor for the hugely popular Left 4 Dead franchise.
4. Debra Morgan
The infamously foul-mouthed sister to good guy serial killer Dexter Morgan, Debra is the unwitting companion, cohort, and frienemy to Dexter’s darker side. All of this is made exponentially more engaging and creepy when you realize that Debra has dated pretty much exclusively serial killers or their victims in the show, and in real life, Jennifer Carpenter is married to the actor who portrays Dexter, Michael C. Hall. Yeesh.
"Well, that’s your problem! I’m not a virgin anymore!"
Okay. This one is a little out of left field. But, anybody that watched Xena growing up, marveling at the fighting ability of warriors in corsets knows that Gabbrielle, the farm-girl-turned-Saphic-warrior-bard, was the hottest thing on that show. Her fighting abilities came naturally, she had the fiestiness of a redhead (who’s sisters had been abducted into slavery), and she was a master of the sai which, as Raph taught us, is the coolest paintbrush with which to create martial artistry. She’s also the fulcrum on which Xena’s shockingly avant-garde episode tips, so there’s that.
2. Pepper Potts
"I would like a Martini, dry, with lots of olives. Like, at least three olives"
Virginia "Pepper" Potts is the Mad Men style secretary with a panache of militaristic savoir faire who keeps Iron Man, Tony Stark, and most recently Stark Industries from spiraling into chaos. Tony put it best: "If I were Iron Man, I’d have this girlfriend who knew my true identity. She’d be a wreck. She’d always be worrying I was going to die, yet so proud of the man I’ve become. She’d be wildly conflicted, which would only make her more crazy about me…"
1. Liz Lemon
The terminally single, curse word eschewing, pop culture encyclopedia of every nerd’s fantasy, Liz Lemon is the not-quite-sour counterpart to Jack Donaghy – the two making the fictional Tracy Jordan show run while making the real show, "30 Rock" outshine most other shows on television (and definitely anything on NBC in the last 5 years). She indispensable, undeniably attractive, and there’s nobody who better fits in both a Snuggie and at the top of this list than her.