The Tool Logic Survival Card is like a Swiss Army Knife squished flat so you can fold it into your wallet.  Bear Grylls would be proud (and have slimmer-looking jeans). 

This card doesn’t have a particularly impressive credit limit ($0 at 0% interest) but it can start a fire or be used to kill an enemy.  The market prices for those are pretty high depending on which country you’re in. 

The card comes equipped with a red LED for signaling passing aircraft at night, a serrated blade made of AUS 8A type stainless steel, a strip of magnesium fire starter (sparked using back of blade), a loud signal whistle to attract your resquers and a lanyard attachment. 

It also has a toothpick and a pair of tweezers for if you’re trying to survive an early dinner at the clubhouse of your favorite golf course.  Buy it for $20 from Thinkgeek. [Buy it]