You may keep your cards pretty close when it comes to spilling details about your relationship, but your girlfriend is probably not so tight-lipped. In fact, for women, there’s really no Vegas rule for dating. So whatever happens between you two most likely stays between you, her and her closest girlfriends… sometimes coworkers and a lot of times her mother, too. Here are eight things she’s probably already told them—and yes, there’s lots of “sex stuff” on this list.
1. The size of your penis
You knew this one was coming, so let’s just get this out of the way early. Yes, your girlfriend will share the approximate dimensions of your penis with her besties. Whether she’s bragging about the girth, or admitting that she likes you so much she doesn’t really care that it’s on the smaller side, her closest comrades absolutely know what you’re packing down there.
2. Weird stuff you do in bed
Whatever happens between the sheets—and in the moments before and after—does not stay between the sheets. Do you insist on showering immediately after sex? Ask her to penetrate you with her finger more often than not? Howl like a wolf every time you climax? Anything you do that’s slightly out of the norm (or at least different than what she’s used to) will end up on your boyfriend report card.
3. Whatever info she’s been able to hunt down on your exes
Look, it’s 2017. So based on my calculations (and experience) new girlfriends have been cyberstalking ex girlfriends for at least a decade and a half now. Whatever she can dig up, she’s going to share with her friends. It’s nothing to worry about, though (unless you failed to mention the time you proposed to your ex on the jumbotron or something). And once she’s found enough to satisfy her curiosity, she’ll forget all about it as long as things are going well between you two.
4. Every sweet thing you say to her
Whether you’re constantly telling your girlfriend how hot she is or being really open and honest about your feelings toward her, she’s going to brag about it to her friends. And she should! Not only does it make her feel good to share these things, it makes you look good. So keep it up and everyone wins.
5. Every not-so-sweet thing you say to her
There’s really no excuse for being a dick, but it happens (hey, women can act like dicks, too). But you should know that, unless she’s too embarrassed or ashamed to tell anyone, anything mean or insulting you say to her will get back to her friends (and maybe even her mom). And they’re probably all going to hold it against you for a really long time.
6. How hairy you are (or are not)
Ladies’ preferences for smooth skin, hairy beasts and everything in between is all over the map. And sometimes there’s no real preference. Still, just know that your body hair will come up over cocktails with the girls—especially if you’re extra hairy, super smooth or if you do any sort of waxing or manscaping.
7. What your relationship with your mom is like
While it doesn’t always equate, a woman can tell a lot about how a man will treat her down the road based on the way he acts toward his mother. And if Mama still does your laundry and cooks your meals, that may be as much of a red flag as if you’re not so nice to her. Good or bad, it’s likely something your girlfriend has shared with her friends.
8. How dirty your apartment is
Your new girlfriend may put up with a messy or dirty apartment—for a while—because she really likes you. But I can almost guarantee you she’s grossed out by it, telling her friends every disgusting detail and already drafting a housekeeping plan of attack in her head. So, if you’d rather her not be all up in your (literal) stuff just yet, do everyone a favor and pick up a broom. Or at least hire someone to get the job done.