Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and their ilk have brought us numerous cool ways to express ourselves that we couldn’t have even dreamt of a decade ago. But they’ve also created all sorts of opportunities to act like a complete jackass. Don’t be that guy. For starters, avoid the following…
Not only does a social media scrap force everyone to witness your private life, it also shows you’re petty enough to bicker online. Leave that kind of crap to the 13-year-olds fighting over Justin Bieber.
1. Sharing shirtless mirror pics
Nothing screams douchebag more than an unsolicited muscle pose. No one cares how ripped you are. At least, no one you want to care.
2. Posting photos of your food
Every man should eat a hearty breakfast. It will fuel you through the rest of the day. But no man should ever post a picture of his breakfast. It immediately makes that steak and eggs less manly.
3. Flirting with multiple girls
Thanks to screenshots, there’s nothing more incriminating than that dirty message you sent to the girl who isn’t your girlfriend. Unless you don’t want her to be your girlfriend anymore.
4. Hitting the share button on porn
It’s no secret most men watch porn on a regular basis. But the details of when, where and what you are watching, however, should be treated like nuclear launch codes.
5. Liking someone’s picture from months prior
Facebook creeping happens. But one thing that must be avoided at all costs is liking or commenting on a photo that a girl posted two years ago. This screams, “I just went through all of your photos.” Which is just not a good thing to scream.
6. Health journaling
It’s important to live a healthy lifestyle. This does not require hourly updates about what you put on your salad, or how great your bench was today. Leave it in the gym, hoss.
7. Shamelessly plugging a DJ or nightclub
THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A POST IN ALL CAPS. These posts, which seem to be yelling at you, are almost always imploring you to go to some “hot” club with the best deals and atmosphere. I’ll take my pint at the Irish pub down the road, thanks.
Facebook is not the Internet version of Judge Judy. Not only does a social media scrap force everyone to witness your private life, it also shows you’re petty enough to bicker online. Leave that kind of crap to the 13-year-olds fighting over Justin Bieber. (He’s the d-bag taking the shirtless mirror pic at the top of this page.)
9. Talking politics or religion
Just as you wouldn’t bring these topics up when meeting your girlfriend’s parents, your Internet “friends” really, really don’t need to know your thoughts on immigration or Pope Francis.
10. Making smiley faces
OMG they’re so emasculating LOL!!
See more of Scheltgen’s thoughts on Twitter @cavejordans.