protein_shakes

You never know what you’re getting with a protein shake. Some are delicious. Some are gross. Unfortunately, GNC employees don’t like it when you open cartons in the store to sample. So we’ve sampled for you. Made Man conducted a taste test to determine the best-tasting protein shake.

We gathered six Break Media editors (ranging from guys who work out regularly to guys who have never lifted anything heavier than a PS3 controller) and asked them to sample five refrigerated protein shakes. All of the shakes were chocolate-flavored.

Why chocolate? Why not? It was our protein shake competition and we got to pick.

We asked the guys to describe what they were tasting and later rank the protein shakes from best to worst based on taste.

These are the highly scientific results that we uncovered. A first-place vote was worth 5 points and a last-place vote was worth 1. The highest a drink could score was 30 points.


No. 5: Lean Body

Total points: 13

Earnest: It smells and tastes like OhYeah!. (More on OhYeah! in a minute)
Rank: 3rd

Brian W.: It feels like my mouth is chalky. It does not taste like a natural drink. It’s not thick enough to be milk and not smooth enough to be water.
Rank: 5th

Brian H.: It tastes a lot like OhYeah!.
Rank: 4th

Ian: It tastes like rubber. There is a rubbery aftertaste.
Rank: 4th

Evan: Chocolate-flavored water.
Rank: 4th

Noah: It tastes like BAND-AIDS.
Rank 3rd

Analysis: This was the least popular drink and the only one that did not receive a first or second-place ranking. Also, we learned that sometimes Noah eats BAND-AIDS.


No. 4: Muscle Milk

Total points: 15

Earnest: It’s kind of medicine-y.
Rank: 5th

Brian W.: It’s grey and has flakes in it.
Rank: 4th

Brian H.: It has notes of banana.
Rank: 1st

Ian: Weird. It’s fruity.
Rank: 5th

Evan: It’s like sweet banana chocolate. I like it.
Rank: 1st

Noah: This is the weirdest of them all.
Rank: 5th

Analysis: Muscle Milk was divisive. Guys either loved it or hated it. It was the only protein shake to receive both first and fifth-place votes. Also, we learned that Brian H. likes to pretend everything he drinks is wine.


No. 3: OhYeah!

Total points: 17

Earnest: It has a coffee aftertaste.
Rank: 3rd

Brian W.: It tastes weird.
Rank: 2nd

Brian H.: It smells like Cocoa Krispies, which I love, but I think this one is horrible. I don’t know what’s happening inside my mouth right now.
Rank: 4th

Ian: It’s chalky.
Rank: 3rd

Evan: It tastes like watered down chocolate milk.
Rank: 3rd

Noah: It tastes like milk gone bad.
Rank: 4th

Analysis: A few of the guys thought OhYeah and Lean Body tasted similar, but OhYeah scored better. Also, Brian H. freaked out a little bit and we had to talk him down the rest of the afternoon.

 

No. 2 Pure Protein
Total points: 19

Earnest: It smells a little like paint.
Rank: 2nd

Brian W.: It tastes like coffee/hot chocolate instant grossness.
Rank: 3rd

Brian H.: It tastes like cold instant hot chocolate.
Rank: 3rd

Ian: It tastes like Carnation Instant Breakfast.
Rank: 2nd

Evan: It tastes like metallic chocolate.
Rank: 5th

Noah: It tastes like oil paint.
Rank: 2nd

Analysis: This is the only one that came in a can. Also, give it up for Earnest who will drink something even if it smells a little like paint. Spirit Award for Earnest on this one.


No. 1: Rockin’ Refuel

Total points: 28

Earnest: It tastes like chocolate milk.
Rank: 1st

Brian W.: This one is so much better.
Rank: 1st

Brian H.: It tastes like chocolate milk.
Rank: 2nd

Ian: It tastes like chocolate milk and it has the consistency of a shake.
Rank: 1st

Evan: It tastes like chocolate malt. It’s a little too sweet.
Rank: 2nd

Noah: It tastes meaty.
Rank: 1st

Analysis: Rockin’ Refuel wins. It clearly tasted more like chocolate milk — which is always pleasing — than any of its competitors. Oh, and Noah clearly prefers a meaty chocolate milk.