If you’ve ever wondered, like friend of the site James did one dark night, “what are some things I should not say to the cop that just pulled me over,” now there’s a study guide just for you.

Things Not To Ask A Cop is the definitive guide on things that will surely get you in trouble (or more if you’re already in it, like James was when he used the quote from the header image).

Head to their site and study up for so that you’re ready next time you’re pulled over to 1) slip smoothly out of a tough jam or 2) hilariously humiliate a cop in exchange for a warm bed and a free meal.