First dates are packed with pressure, but stressing over a woman to whom you have no ties (yet) really isn’t necessary. Because the woman you end up dating seriously probably isn’t going to be the one who nitpicked your date idea, outfit choice, food order or anything else for that matter. (And if that is the woman you end up dating, good luck!)

There are, however, some things most women wish men would do on first dates, and we know  because we asked 13 of them.

Don’t sweat these too much, but if you keep them in mind, your next first date may just go a bit smoother than your last one.

1. Savannah, 25: “A guy should be assertive, not indecisive—for example, he should know a restaurant with a good atmosphere and know the food he wants. It keeps it exciting.”

2. Lindsay, 31: “I wish dates would actually pick you up like the good old days.”

3. Meryl, 26: “A guy I used to date knew how much I love my red wine, so he researched and found the one restaurant with the biggest red wine list in the area. It’s nice when a first date goes the extra mile to impress you and picks a place on purpose, not just because they take all their first dates there.”

4. Gabby, 27: “First dates should always foot the bill. When did splitting the check become a thing?”

5. Ellen, 29: “I don’t remember the last time a first date took me somewhere besides drinks or dinner. I really appreciate when a man thinks up something creative to do together. First dates don’t have to be so serious; they should be fun.”

6. Kayte, 33: “On my favorite first date (and I’ve been on a lot of first dates), he ordered for me. He’d been to the restaurant many times before and knew the best dishes, so I took his word for it and ended up really enjoying it. It was sort of sexy that he taught me something new I like and how confident he was in his decisions.”

7. Jacqueline, 28: “My first date with my boyfriend now was actually so awkward. He was so nervous to kiss me at the end of it, but when he asked I said yes. I really respected that he’d asked me instead of just going in for it. I felt like he respected me, too.”

8. Liv, 25: “Don’t pull the whole ‘Want to get out of here?’ thing on date one. Keep it in your pants for a minute.”

9. Michele, 26: “I wish guys would put more effort into a first date. Pick something to do that is meaningful—it could be eating at a restaurant that serves food from your family’s culture, or it could be showing me your favorite park by your place. If things end up working out, I want to be able to look back on the first date and remember it as something special, not just another ‘let’s grab drinks’ thing.”

10. Amy, 25: “First dates don’t have to be so awkward. I wish guys would just be confident. Don’t give one-word answers when we ask questions, and ask questions about us, too.”

11. Mackenzie, 27: “Don’t complain about things. Be positive and have good energy. Even if there’s no romantic interest, at least you both met someone cool and didn’t waste your time.”

12. Jess, 28: “If things go well, you need to end the first date with a kiss. It’s confirmation that you’re both into it.”

13. Liza, 26: “I wish guys would send a text after the first date to say they had a good time. And make plans for a second date so you’re not left wondering.”

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