Does anybody really even date in the real world anymore? When was the last time you went on a date without Googling the person you were about to meet for drinks? Remember answering machines? Ugh. The times, they are a-changing, and the dating game is becoming increasingly digitized whether you like it or not. Scoff all you like, many of your prospects are spending more time on the Faceyspaces and less time at your local watering hole. So what’s an old fashioned fella who grew up bringing actual flowers as opposed to Facebook gifts supposed to do?
The self-titled Asian Playboy knows. He’s made it his life’s work to decode the language of women be they using their mouths, their body, or their Twitter accounts to tell you exactly what they want and how they want it. Here, in an exclusive Made Man interview, he reveals the secrets of dating in the virtual space.
Q: Which social media, in your opinion, is the most effective for picking up a girl if you’ve never met her in real life?
A: In my experience, there is no substitute for meeting girls in real life, but internet dating is a new and great way to supplement your pickup experience. We always encourage people to go out and take the bull by the horns but, in the case where a person is super busy or needs a change from the Pickup scene, both myself and my coaches have a lot of luck with PlentyOfFish.com, which is a great, free dating site where you can customize your profile and meet different women sorted by area. My coaches, Gareth Jones and Kevin Feng (from VH1 The Pick Up Artist 2), also use Facebook and Myspace to great success in a sort of 21st Century online social-circle game. We always encourage people to try many different options out to see what works best for them. Beware, however, of the sites that make you pay. Remember, meeting girls at the grocery store is free so we believe meeting them online should be free as well.
Q: Which social media is best for maintaining or furthering existing relationships?
A: The trick to maintaining relationships has to do with being a regular presence in those people’s lives. Being in their thoughts often will cultivate their interest and further thought about you. While MySpace used to be the king of the hill, it’s now Facebook and it truly is an awesome way to keep track of your social circle and ‘Maintain a regular presence’ in their lives. While there is no substitute for the good, old-fashioned phone call or meeting face-to-face, facebook is often a great way to keep your friends (and lovers) abreast of the changes in your life. Supplement that with the occasional text or IM convo and you’ve got an updated and involved lover.
Q: How do you go about going from “text to sex” via Facebook?
A: Going from Text to Sex (the ultimate form of iGame) is all about escalation. In every form of communication, you can bring a woman into an emotional state and turn her on. Once she is turned on, she’s going to be making decisions based on what will bring her the most pleasure. When she’s hot enough and you’ve presented her with the option of "coming over and watching a movie" she is going to jump at the chance to be close to you and to do all of those things that you’ve described to her.
Q: How do you go about going from “text to sex” via email?
A: If you’re going to engage in email flirtation which are longer and more well thought out, then you start off small. Don’t make your first emails to her too long as it’ll come off as desperate or needy. Make a few jokes and observations the first time around. And then after a couple emails, slowly you engage her by bringing her into your world before going too sexual. Realize that because this is written communication, it’s both a great way to get in the mind of someone, but it also requires a high level of wordplay and dexterity. So anyways, you begin to pull her in, maybe by describing where you are when you’re writing. Like…
"Hey babe, it’s cold out here in Hollywood without you Anyways, I’m sitting in Starbucks and it is a truly beautiful day. The sky has this kind of blue-grey overcast to it, like after a violent rainstorm that just cleans out all the dirt and nasty away. The world’s a little bit bruised from the cleaning, but it’s scrubbed clean for a new day and a new chance at life.
The palm trees are swaying, and- because it’s Starbucks- the people are just FASCINATING to watch. Remember what we used to do? People watch and make fun of all those poor fools at that one place? What was it called again?
Well, check this out, sweetie, there’s this one guy across from me who looks like the Afro-Samurai with his crazy, gnarly black hair and even crazier eyes. I swear, he’s fingering a sword underneath his trenchcoat. Or maybe it’s not a sword he’s touching
Oh, but then there’s this other girl on the other side who obviously looks like she’s doing the Walk of Shame. Remember that scene with Cameron Diaz in "There’s Something About Mary?" Yep, she’s got "that" hair and she’s got the hungover, hangdog look.
Oh no, shit! Shit! Now she’s looking at me! Look away! Look away! Oh crap, now they’re both staring at me… Hold me "
Q: How do you go from “text to sex” via Twitter? How do you go from “text to sex” while instant messaging?
A: Any sort of instant communication method will work best in this scenario (text, phone, IM), but if you have a very attentive facebook user or diligent email checker, it can be just as useful. Generally, the fewer steps a woman has to go through to send you a message and the more private the medium is, the more effective the method of communication is going to be, hence why twitter (a very public forum) and why myspace (which has a very involved message-sending process) aren’t the best forms of communication for skipping the first date.
Of course, we’ll discuss this in our upcoming DVD release of the ABCs of Attraction’s phone and text seminar entitled "iGame: From Text To Sex." This DVD will revolutionize your phone game, answering your most basic questions and expanding on them with the most detailed subjects, as well. Not only will it include what to do after the initial interaction, but it will give you examples every step of the way to ensure you have great success!
Q: What about dating sites like match.com? Worthwhile or just go straight to the women?
A: Like I previously mentioned, I am hesitant to pay for dating sites when amazing networks like Plenty of Fish are out there, but if you have the money and want to experiment, we always encourage it. These sites are a good way to work on your conversational skill and to learn to be more comfortable communicating with women.
About The Asian Playboy:
The Asian Playboy is the founder of the world-renown ABCs of Attraction, one of the world’s first and most successful indie pick up companies. Known as the World’s Greatest Asian Pick Up Artist, he is the creator of the revolutionary Holistic approach to pickup and has transformed the lives of thousands of men on five continents with his groundbreaking products and programs and the help of his dynamic coaching staff. The Asian Playboy is the founder of one of the longest running and most widely read seduction arts blogs in history, and the author and producer of several e-books, DVDs and CDs, and other multi-media personal coaching resources.