Everyone loves a good girl fight, and the highly anticipated Strikeforce event coming up this Saturday on Showtime should be one of the greatest ever. In honor of beauties beating each other down, we decided to dream up a few fantasy fights that we imagine would’ve made an excellent undercard to go along with Saturday’s big matchup.
THE MAIN EVENT
Carano Vs Cyborg
With her eye-catching looks and skill with a roundhouse kick, Gina Carano has quickly become known as “The Face of Women’s MMA.” Alas, the undefeated Las Vegas native may not be so pretty after her next fight. On August 15th, Carano will collide with her own personal Drago — a jacked Brazilian Muay Thai specialist named Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos — in the most high-profile girl-on-girl cage-match in history. Getting locked up in Carano’s rear-naked choke might be your idea of a good time. Or maybe you think you’re man enough to take on Cyborg, who tosses around male training partners on a regular basis. Either way, you’ll probably find out that hand-to-hand combat should be left to the professionals, and that “hitting like a girl” means something very different these days.
Jenna Jameson vs. Rena “Sable” Mero
Considering who their significant others are, both of these ladies probably know a thing or two about throwing down. Pornstar-turned-entrepreneur Jenna Jameson is the baby-mama and longtime girlfriend of UFC legend Tito Ortiz, while former WWE Diva Rena Mero is married to UFC heavyweight champ/all-around psycho Brock Lesnar. In other words, they probably think of brutal ground-and-pound as foreplay. Personally, we wouldn’t mess with any chick whose boyfriend is famous for knocking people dead, but hey, you only live once.
UP-AND-COMING MMA BOMBSHELLS
Miesha Tate vs. Michelle “The Karate Hottie” Waterson
Gina Carano isn’t the only MMA fighter we’d go three rounds with. Miesha Tate has competed twice in Strikeforce MMA events on Showtime, and possesses one of the finest bootys in the sport. (We say that with complete respect, by the way.) Meanwhile, the Karate Hottie Michelle Waterson splits her time between kicking ass in the cage and modeling for swimwear and car mags. Step to them if you dare — just don’t be surprised if you wake up in a hospital bed, nursing the worst headache of your life.
REAL AMERICAN BEAUTIES
Rachel “Scarlett” Nichols vs. Sienna “Baroness” Miller
The long-awaited summer blockbuster G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra features one of the most epic battles of Good vs. Evil in cinematic catfight history, as Scarlett (played by the impossibly sexy Rachel Nichols) takes on the Baroness (played by blonde stunner Sienna Miller). In the ‘80s cartoon, it would be no contest — the raven-haired ice queen Baroness takes this one all day, every day — but now that real women are involved, it’s anybody’s game. So would you strike a blow for freedom and scrap with Sienna, or would you embrace your dark side and get in the ring with Rachel?
Daisy “Of Love” De la Hoya vs. Jillian “Bachelorette” Harris
If you’ve watched either of their shows, it’s probably because your girlfriend forced you to. Well, now it’s time to get even. Daisy de la Hoya is the tattooed, pierced, breast-augmented star of VH1’s “Daisy of Love,” whose interests include whiskey, punk rock, and dangerous men. Jillian Harris is the brunette girl-next-door who breaks hearts on ABC’s “The Bachelorette” while searching for Mr. Right (i.e., a dude with an actual career and few STDs, if any). They’re both aggravating in their own special ways — and they’d both probably eliminate you in episode 1. Do you feel the rage building inside you? Good. Now make your decision.