I love women. As Chris Rock said, my Mom’s a woman but I sure am glad I don’t have to live as one. Here are a few reasons why
1. I don’t have to buy new clothes to go to the doctor.
I might watch what underwear I wear for a physical but that’s about it. My wife said she was going to buy some clothes. I asked why she had to go today and couldn’t wait until later in the week. She said “I have to get a new bra because I’m going to the doctor tomorrow” Which brings me to number two
2. I can have sex the night before a physical.
At least I have a comeback for the old “We can’t fool around because I am going to the gynecologist tomorrow” response. I always respond with “Are you going to the dentist tomorrow as well”
3. My friends don’t bad mouth me if you say something nice about me
Girls hate for you to compliment their friends. As Ben Franklin said “To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends”
4. It’s completely accepted for me to look at 25-35 year old no matter how old I get
The name “cougar” has been made up just to cover ladies that do this. Men have the old label “pervert” but nobody cares
5. I still have a chance of being labeled smart if I’m really good looking.
A good looking girl gets everything she wants except but she always has to earn the smart label. She is good looking AND smart, like those two are a tough combo.
6. I don’t have to compliment every girl at work on their clothes selection each day
I can’t imagine telling someone each morning “That is the cutest blouse, where did you buy that?”
7. I can actually tell my friends what I’m thinking
Do it as a girl and you’re an instant bitch
8. 10 Extra pounds and a girl is letting herself go, for guys we’re building a shed for the “Big Tool“
9. If my privates bleed I’m going to the doctor.
Bleeding is a special occasion that I try to avoid on a daily basis. There have been less loss of blood in LA gang fights than our female companions lose on a monthly basis.
10. I’m not expected to care about everything
What I love about women and hate about women is they care about everything. Not only do they care, but they actually do something about it. To much emotional work for this guy