There are so many undeserving movies that have gotten sequels over the years (can you say Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo?), one cannot help but to begin to think about much worthier films that never got one. But considering how long the gaps are between some flicks and their existing follow-ups (35 years between Blade Runner and Blade Runner 2049, for example), all is not lost. So here are a few we’d still like to see.
1. True Romance
Written by a then-unknown Quentin Tarantino, this Christian Slater flick is just begging for a follow-up. No, we don’t think it would be any good. Not even close. But we still want it. Is his prone-to-violence character still being haunted by visions of Elvis? Is Patricia Arquette still on his arm? Sadly, the late James Gandolfini couldn’t return, but they could beef up Brad Pitt’s stoner character to even things out.
Stop snickering. You know you want it. The writing/direct team of Joe Eszterhas and Paul Verhoeven was hot off Basic Instinct and in a quasi-mail-it-in mode, so let’s give them the chance to polish the apple that was—and remains—Elizabeth Berkeley. The Saved by the Bell alum still hasn’t fully recovered from the ravaging critics doled out and, face facts, us guys totally dug her, along with Gina Gershon. Sure, Kyle MacLachlan can go, and maybe you move things from Vegas to LA or New York. Dunno, just spitballing here. Any studio execs listening?
3. Tango & Cash
Are we the only ones shocked that a franchise wasn’t born here? Probably. But T&C is kind of amazing. Plus, Kurt Russell remains in beast mode, appearing most recently in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (oh yeah, that got a sequel) and the endless Fast and Furious franchise. And Stallone has resurrected his career umpteen times by revisiting old characters—from Rambo to Rock, and maybe even “The Expendables” counts—so let’s talk him into this thing before that Cobra sequel hits pre-production.
The much-maligned 1996 “musical-fantasy” starring Shaq is deserving of a follow-up if only to see if they make something even more “so bad it’s good.” Plus, there are so many unanswered questions. The boombox that conjures up the genie that is Kazaam could be found in a school basement, for starters—a la this holiday season’s $500-million-plus Jumanji. And, sure, put The Rock in it, if necessary. He loves jumping on board sinking ships, if only to set them right.
Utter insanity that it hasn’t happened. The beloved title character couldn’t simply screw up a second time, a la John McClane in Die Hard 2? Shoot, he wouldn’t want to visit his earthbound friends again? Or, hell, send the kids to space! Drew Barrymore’s dance card didn’t exactly get full until, like, 15 years later. This could and should have happened. Furthermore, it still can.
6. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
What a fun cast of characters who went on to do interesting things. Let’s pick up right where they left off, or cutting to graduation, or them all of them now in college. Or, if Sean Penn refuses to grow his hair out, how about a high school reunion? Think of it: Sean Penn as Spicoli as a grown up, and paired back up with Jennifer Jason Leigh, Nicolas Cage, Judge Reinhold, Forest Whitaker, Anthony Edwards and Eric Stoltz. But the best part? An un-retired Phoebe Cates. Bam.
7. Miami Vice
The 2006 Colin Farrell/Jamie Foxx big-screen take on the long-running CBS hit series that made Don Johnson a household name got a bum rap. If Charlie’s Angels can get a sequel, Vice should, too. Then again, Vin Diesel is working to bring Crockett and Tubbs back to TV, so it’s a matter of taking what you can get.
8. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
The source material is there, ad nauseam. After all, Pilgrim has been a quasi-underground comic book hero for many years. Its reception was lukewarm, which still ruffles our feathers. Michael Cera was perfectly cast, with his star on the rise, hot off Arrested Development. Anna Kendrick was too, pitch-perfect (pun intended) as his sister. Chris Evans went against type as an a-hole movie star/villain and was hilarious. Pilgrim’s maiden voyage was spot-on. Why not another?
9. Dude, Where’s My Car?
Don’t ya just miss ol’ Stifler? And here he worked with someone with equal comic skill, Ashton Kutcher. The movie was absurd, but every Harold & Kumar sequel we get is a middle finger to this stoner buddy opus. Plus, Jennifer Garner first got to show the world she was so much more than an action hero.
10. Wedding Crashers
So let’s get this straight: Hollywood OK’d turning “American Pie” into a trilogy—and countless spinoffs—but didn’t straight-up demand a sequel here? Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn’s chemistry has never been better, and every single player in this film delivers, from Jane Seymour to Christopher Walken to Bradley Cooper to Isla Fisher. Now, rumor has it that a second Crashers is in the works. But we’re not getting excited until we see a teaser trailer.