facebook-smileys

Water is wet, drill sergeants are mean and every time Facebook updates, it’s terrible. The latest update, however, seems more controversial than previous ones. Before now, you could easily cruise bustylatinahookers.com without incident. The new Facebook, however, isn’t content to just data mine you—they want to share all your browsing habits with your friends.

The new paradigm bears the Orwellian euphemism “frictionless sharing.” Facebook wants to integrate everything you do online into a single place. Forget the shame you feel when grandma discovers your predilection for interracial bukake porn. You’ll also have to contend with your friends knowing you watched Steel Magnolias on Netflix right before spending hours listening to the new Taylor Swift album on Spotify.

Of course, you don’t just have friends on Facebook. And when your boss lurks your page, this becomes a problem. Mashable reports 8 percent of companies have fired employees over social networking use and misuse. The same report stated that 15 percent of firms have disciplined employees for violating posting and file-sharing rules, 13 percent have investigated employees for improper messaging and 17 percent have disciplined employees for misusing blogs and message boards.

To hammer the point home, this is before Facebook wanted to tell everyone how much you like almostjailbait.com.

Don’t think you’re safe because your boss isn’t on your friends list, either. The new mini-Facebook in the upper-right corner allows friends of friends to see what you’re up to. To truly insulate yourself, you’ll have to remove everyone who might potentially be friends with your boss. Until Facebook starts offering users real privacy options (yeah, right) here are five tips for keeping yourself—and your job—safe.

Don’t authorize sites. Unlike Beacon, the Facebook program that pissed everyone off five years ago, you have to opt-in to share a lot of your browsing information with friends (for now). Once you authorize a site for viewing within Facebook, Zuckerburg and Company are telling everyone you know what you read on the site every time you stop in.

Remove unused apps. Apps are great for phones. They’re less useful on Facebook. Go to your account settings and remove any Facebook apps you don’t absolutely need. This will prevent Facebook from telling your friends you just watched “Funniest Two and a Half Men Moments” on YouTube.

Change privacy settings. While Facebook can—and often does—change privacy every time they like, checking your privacy settings every couple weeks or so allows you to control who can see what.

Never post anything you wouldn’t want your boss to read. One of the best ways to protect yourself is to simply watch carefully what you say when using social media. Pretend your boss is in the room at all times.

Leave Facebook. The only foolproof way you won’t be fired for Facebook use is to bail. Twitter is a far better use of your time, with most viral news stories starting there. If you can’t leave Facebook entirely, consider making a new account and using it very sparingly.

Those who decide on that last option may be the luckiest of all. In addition to being able to sleep a little better at night, can you imagine a life without Facebook? You might have time to, like, do stuff.