So, you met a great girl and things are going well. You’ve gotten through the awkward first couple of dates, cuddled up in front of your television to watch a movie, salsa danced until the wee hours of the morning. You’ve gotten over the fact that her bronzer stains your pillowcase and that her cat really gets your allergies going. But, things aren’t going anywhere until you’ve won over her girlfriends. Let’s face it, your girl’s friends have a lot of say—especially with you. Follow our ten easy steps to win them over so that you don’t end up in the “friends’ doghouse.”
Give Them Girl Time
There, unfortunately, comes a point in many relationships when the girl feels torn between her best friends and her boyfriend. Don’t let your newfound relationship get to that point. Give her space and let her spend time with her girls. In fact, even suggesting an activity for them to do isn’t a bad idea. I remember once when my best friend’s boyfriend treated me and my friend to a day at the spa. It showed that he really valued the friendship that I had with his girlfriend. And a complimentary massage was pretty nice, too.
Become Friends With Her Friends
This is so basic and essential. Show a genuine interest in her friends. Try to get to know them. The most ideal relationship is one in which the boyfriend and the girl’s friends can all go out together without it being awkward. Ask them how they became friends with your girl and go from there. A girl notices when you’re taking the time to get to know her pals.
But Not BFFs
I once dated a guy who tried so hard to be friends with my friends that it actually started to weird me out. Don’t be overly flirtatious and complimentary. Refrain from making comments about how good-looking her besties are. And, for the love of God, do not call or text her friends unless a volcano erupted or a hurricane hit and you’re desperately looking for your girl.
Set Her Posse Up With Your Posse
Everyone loves a good group date. Set up her girl friends with your guy friends. Chances are good you’ll be more at ease with your own pals there and, who knows, maybe they’ll hit it off. Go somewhere casual, grab a few drinks and see what happens.
When one of my girlfriend’s guys remembers something about me, it’s automatic bonus points. Remembering a specific event that the two of them did together is also key. Think: vacations, weekend activities, college. The first time my sister’s boyfriend met me, this is how it went down: “Oh, you’re Allie! I’ve heard so much about you. Andi told me that she had an absolute blast with you this summer in New York!” First and foremost, he remembered my name (which is more than I can say for a lot of guys) and, even better, he remembered a specific event that the two of us did together. To this day, he’s my favorite of all her boyfriends.
There is nothing — and I mean nothing — worse than an awkward boyfriend sitting in the corner and grumbling to himself about his fantasy football team. Talk to her friends. Act like you care about what they’re saying, even if you don’t. My best friend’s boyfriend always listens to me bitch about my own boy problems. He nods his head, sighs at the appropriate times, and gives me advice, even though it’s probably the last conversation he wants to have.
Do Small Favors
Look for opportunities where you can do something small. My roommate in college had a boyfriend who would always drive us to the bar when he wasn’t going out. It showed that he cared about her and his standing with us. Oh, and FYI, girls hate buying drinks for themselves. Buying a round of drinks at the bar is the perfect small favor to win over the friends.
Acknowledge That Her Crew Is Cool
It sounds totally elementary school, but if you like her friends, let her know. Girls like to hear that you think their pals are, for lack of a better word, cool. After a night out with them, say that you enjoyed yourself. Why? My best friend Cara says it best: “It’ll reassure her that you actually enjoy spending time with them and it’s not solely an obligation.” No one wants to feel like an obligation.
Easy on the PDA
It’s important to show her friends that you care. But keep in mind that a few kisses, a bit of caressing, and a hand hold or two will do the trick. You’re there to meet her friends and make a good impression. Save the heavy petting and foreplay for later.
Don’t Make Her Cry
Girls talk. Girls gossip. It’s as simple as that. And, if you upset her, they’ll hear about it because they’re the first people she’ll tell. And then they’ll hate you. And it will be really hard to get back on their good side. Take it from someone who still can’t stand her good friend’s boyfriend for that very reason. Avoid making her cry at all costs.
Your girl’s friends can be intimidating. They know a lot about her and her past relationships. They’re going to judge you, no doubt about that. But, at the end of the day, they just have her best interests in mind. So prove to them that you’re worth it.
By: Alexandra Foster