Women and men are both guilty of having some bad habits when it comes to household cleanliness. So we’re not here to point fingers, except well, yeah I guess we are. We’d like to file a few complaints about your messy and often baffling behavior around the house. Please stop doing these things before we lose our minds.
1. Leaving dirty laundry just outside the laundry basket. You’ve left your dirty clothes in a pile on the floor inches from the laundry basket. Yes we’re annoyed, but mostly we’re just confused. Why not just put them in the basket? The laundry basket is RIGHT THERE. Just throw them in; a little flick of your wrist is all it takes.
2. Leaving all drawers open until the end of time. So you’re looking for something to wear and you open every single dresser drawer during your search. Here’s an idea: Close them. Whenever we walk in the bedroom it’s like that scene from The Sixth Sense when the ghost suddenly opens all the kitchen cabinets. It also gives the appearance that the house has been ransacked by robbers hastily searching for valuables. Either way it’s creepy. Please stop.
3. Not cleaning up your beard trimmings. Men are a hairy species, we get that. But must you leave your beard trimmings all over the bathroom counter after you shave? We like beard hair when it’s attached to your face; it’s sexy. It’s decidedly less sexy when it’s blanketing every bathroom surface. Then it’s just gross.
4. Splashing sink water everywhere. While we’re on the topic of bathrooms, what exactly goes on in there when you’re using the faucet? Because it looks like an enthusiastic duck just took a bath in our sink. For future reference, there are these drying devices (they’re called towels), and they can be used to wipe up your area when you are finished.
5. Letting the dishes soak, forever. We’re on to you. We know you don’t want to do the dishes so you’ve come up with a brilliant plan—you’re “letting them soak.” We didn’t mix cement in that pan. It doesn’t need to soak for a week. Just wash them, please.