Holding a world record is pretty badass. Especially if it is for something like running the fastest mile or bench pressing the most weight. Unfortunately, 99.9% of us will never hold an athletic world record that would qualify us as a superior male specimen, but we can still be a world record holder. Here are a few records you could potentially own with a little planning and persistence. Just make sure to apply to Guinness first.
Note: We take no responsibility for injury, mental anguish, arrest, or disease you may get from attempting the following records.
Largest Group of Streakers
How you can break it: You will need to call everyone you know — and quite a few people you don’t know yet — that will be down for stripping off all their clothes and jogging around. Alcohol will likely have to be involved. Is it too early to RSVP for this party?
Longest Time Trapped in an Elevator
76-year-old Cypriot Papajohn (yes, that is her last name) got stuck in an elevator from Dec 28, 1987 through Jan 2, 1988. Luckily, she had some grocery bags with her and was able to eat while she was trapped.
How you can break it: Get in an elevator that you know will not be checked on for about a week. During it’s trip, hit the emergency stop button or do something else to ensure it will shut down. Make sure to have food and water with you so you don’t die. A bigger problem, of course, is waste management (see below).
You’re bored, it’s Friday night and you are home alone. If you’re like most people, you will decide to spend the evening relaxing in a bathtub full of maggots. Just like Christine Martin of Horsham, West Sussex. She set the record for longest maggot bath in 2002 by going one hour and 30 minutes.
How you can break it: Put a bathtub in your backyard and fill it with rotting meat. After you have accumulated a tub full of maggots, clear the meat out and dive in. Stay in for a couple of hours.
There are conflicting reports on the exact record for continuous seesawing. It ranges from 75 hours up to 108 hours, so to be safe, if you want to break this record, be prepared to go over four days.
How you can break it: Get a friend who is as crazy as you and will agree to stay awake for almost five days straight while seesawing.
Most Piercings at Once
Earlier this year, Ed Bruns had 1,501 needles stuck in him over a four hour and 27 minute period. He had a professional piecing artist administer the needles.
How you can break it: Pretty simple. Block out a day and get an assload of needles stuck in you at once. According to Bruns, the backs of the knees hurt the most.
Largest Rubber Band Ball
The largest rubber band ball was created by Joel Waul of Lauderhill, Florida. It was weighed at 9,032 pounds on November 13, 2008.
How you can break it: You will first have to admit to yourself that you have no life. Then, start collecting every rubber band you can find. You will need every size, shape and brand, so don’t discriminate. You will then have to start wrapping these rubber wonders together until you have a ball that weighs more than 9,032 pounds.
Largest Collection of ‘Do Not Disturb’ Hotel Signs
A dude from Switzerland, Jean-François Vernetti, has 8,888 ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs from hotels in 189 countries. He started his collection in the mid-80’s.
How you can break it: Start traveling and stealing every ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign you can. And make sure to have a spare room to store them in.
Longest Distance Pulled by a Horse
Being pulled by a horse is not picnic. Especially when it’s a full body burn. The longest distance covered under these circumstances was 1,551 feet and 2 inches. Halapi Roland did the deed in Kisoroszi, Hungary on November 12, 2008.
How you can break it: This one will suck and hurt like hell, but you can do it. The way to break it is grab onto the rope and don’t let go until you pass the 1,552 foot mark. You will want to do a few short practice runs in the days leading up to the attempt, though.
The Most Tattooed Senior Citizen
The most tattooed senior citizen is Isobel Varley. She has tattoos covering up to 93% of her body.
How you can break it: Get a bunch of tattoos when you become a senior citizen. Like, all over your body.
Most T-Shirts Worn at Once
The record for the most T-shirts worn at once is 227 by Jef Van Dijck. He did it in Brecht, Belgium on April 24, 2008.
How you can break it: Surprisingly, this is not as easy as it seems. The weight and heat from the shirts are pretty intense. You will need a couple of friends to help you put the shirts on and they will need to get progressively larger as you go.
Most Cockroaches Eaten
Ken Edwards of England ate 36 cockroaches. He did this all in one minute on the set of the show “The Big Breakfast” on March 5, 2001.
How you can break it: You need to be open to diseases that cochroaches carry, then resign yourself to the fact that you will be swallowing these things. You can beat this record by shoving ten of these bugs in your mouth at once, crunching for a couple of seconds, then swallowing. Do this four times and you are a new record holder. However, be prepared for the foul scent they emit to ward of predators when you try swallowing.
Most Ferrero Rocher Chocolates Eaten in One Minute
The most Ferrero Rocher chocolates — the hazelnut containing, gold wrapper chocolates — eaten in one minute is seven. Jim Lyngvild did this on live TV in Copenhagen, Denmark on 10 October 2008. He had to unwrap these himself.
How you can break it: Train by eating these candies as often and as quickly as you can. If you can get them unwrapped quickly, you have a shot. Eating them is not a problem.