Royal Caribbean is sick and tired of “tiny” million-dollar cruise ships. It’s time to take things up a notch.

“Project Genesis” also known as the ‘Oasis Class‘ ship was ordered by Royal Caribbean in 2006, and upon it’s completion in 2009, it will become the world’s largest operating cruise ship. I really hope the whole thing is Phil Collins/Genesis-themed. Do you know how hard that thing would need to rock to deserve that name??

For the big-time price of $1.24 billion, the ship will be 43% larger than the current largest ship, the Queen Elizabeth II. Genesis will be 1,180 feet long, 220,000 tons and able to carry 6,400 passengers and 2,100 crew members. Although it will not be nearly as nice as any number of luxury Australian cruises.

Many of those crew members will be entertainers located in the ‘Central Park’ area of the ship. This zone, larger than a football field, serves as a multi-purpose common area for passengers. It will be filled with live concerts and street performers. I’m sorry, but street performers? You’re going to pay top-dollar for a cruise ticket and you want to be bothered by second class mimes and card game pushers all over the place? I suppose they’re trying to replicate what it feels like to not be on a luxurious cruise, but rather an ordinary city street corner.

The ‘Central Park’ will also include fine dining in the form of fancy Italian restaurants and an elite steakhouse. For the realistic vacationer, there are also a few places to ‘get your drunk on’, including the extravagant ‘Rising Tide bar’. This “bar area” has the ability to slowly ascend and descend through three decks of the ship, allowing passengers the ability to hammered as they move around the busiest commons areas. Sounds like almost every carnival ride I’ve been on while drunk: incredibly dangerous and nauseating. As if sea-sickness wasn’t bad enough, right?-

The ship comes equipped with its very own giant amphitheater at its stern to accommodate large open-air concerts. There will also be rock-climbing walls on the outer edge of this ‘AquaTheater’ in case that’s something you’ve always wanted to do at a Nickelback/Celine Dion concert.

Don’t forget about the in-house psychic and tattoo parlor, so that you can singlehandedly make every most regrettable mistake of your life all on one vacation.

Despite all these luxurious accommodations, unfortunately they still haven’t figured out the dilemma of wide-spread sickness easily spreading in these sardine-like conditions. Anyone still interested?

Royal Caribbean: Oasis of The Seas (video)

I think I might just stick with the world’s largest swimming pool for my next vacation.

MSNBC: Royal Caribbean orders largest cruise ship, February 6, 2006

BoingBoing: Project Oasis Class Cruise Liner, June 20, 2008

Most Expensive: Cruise Ship, June 25, 2008