The new "most baller" way to give presents is to wrap them in sheets of real US currency.
That’s exactly what Edwina Rogers, wife of famed Washington lobbyist Ed Rogers, does for all her ‘small thank you gifts’. I kid you not. The woman purchases sheets of 32 $1 bills for $55 from the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing’s ‘moneyfactory’ website, and then proceeds to mutilate, cut, and tape the legal tender for the purposes of giving a cute gift.
Although this video is part of a terrible video series that resembles "MTV’s Cribs for Washington’s most influential players" aka ‘The Lamest Episode Of Cribs Imaginable’, it is worth watching the first 2 minutes to see this insane ‘gift wrapping’ in action: [further analysis after the jump]
1:07 – Edwina admits she only does this ‘for small packages, not large ones!‘. Thank god she clarified that statement because seriously, who wants their new Bentley wrapped in deplorable ‘greenbacks’? Perhaps the larger gifts are wrapped in Euros?
1:15 – Edwina says ‘The effect is fabulous. Especially for foreigners, they love it.’ Foreigners, really? I guess that’s probably because they know how little the American dollar is worth to them these days. Ohh how cute, ‘American’ money!
1:31 – Dollar bills are literally sheared in half for the purposes of lining up the George Washingtons on the front of the gift. I guess this isn’t really that bad now that I think of it. Personally, I was hoping they were using sheets of Benjamins. Way cooler.
2:12 – This woman apparently knows something we aren’t aware of about the state of the US dollar. She’s sure its low value is only a temporary thing that won’t last for long. Sweet!
2:42 – If you’re still watching, you probably saw DC powerbroker Scott Segal showing off his ‘I (heart) Punching Your Face’ shirt. Nice one! Wait, what does that even mean?
2:45 – Silly hats and wacky boots – this guy is nuts!
3:02 – Stab him, Mario Correa! Do it, you pussy.
And it’s over.
I think the ‘coolness’ of doing something like this has lost its effect on me. When I first heard about wrapping gifts with money, I was awestruck. Now it just sounds like a waste of paper.
However, there is still no better way to flaunt your wealth than to go ahead and essentially use hard-earned money as throwaway garbage paper. Just one step closer to $100-bill toilet paper.
WSJ Wealth Blog: Plutocrat Lesson 4- How To Wrap Gifts In Dollar Bills, August 26, 2008